To be honest though, I already knew, and it only confirmed what I had been worried about since her birthday party 2 days before.
We had taken Lolly to the docs about a week after Evie was born because her tummy was so bloated, she looked pregnant. That was really the only reason at the time....looking back, it all adds up.....the bruises she was covered in, we all reasoned were down to her being a normal active child who bumped herself and the blood spots that had come up were put down to her having a cold by the practice nurse.
The GP said that he could feel Lauryns liver was enlarged and that he would refer us to the outpatients but that it would take 4-6 weeks. We got on with life as usual because again we reasoned 'if it was anything serious the doctor would have her straight into hospital', Lauryn went to school, she competed (well!) in sports day and she had her 5th birthday.
On the morning of her 5th birthday party, on a gorgeous hot sunny day, I was getting the garden ready for 30 children (!). I got a call from the hospital who wanted to see Lauryn that Monday. I also got a call from Lauryns dad who told me he had been googling enlarged livers on the net and that there were afew causes....one being leukaemia. Seems stupid but as soon as he said it, I knew it was that, and I cried. So Lauryns 5th birthday party was completely tainted by the fear of what was to come that monday, despite friends and family telling me she was far too energetic and healthy to have cancer as she was bouncing on her bouncy castle!!!
So monday arrived, and I picked Lauryn up from school at lunchtime to take her to the appointment at hospital. We went straight to the outpatients, she was examined and were told that they were going to give her a blood test. Richard and I knew then straight away what they were testing for even though they didn't actually tell us at first. The doctor then said they were looking for Leukaemia, along with other malignancies because something wasn't right....she ran through the possibilities and said that out of all of them, Leukaemia would be the 'best outcome'. I can remember actually praying it would be leukaemia....how weird is that...praying that your 5 yr old child has leukaemia?! We called mine and Richards parents and we all sat waiting while Lauryn played happily in the playroom, oblivious.
When the results came back, the doctor called me and Richard into a room at the hospital that is used to accomodate parents and sat us down. He confirmed it was Leukaemia and must have been nervous because I remember he did a weird laugh noise as he told us and it made me mad! I didn't cry, I don't know why because everyone else did and it annoyed me! I felt quite calm, but like something was gone, life had changed forever, an extremely terrifying, awful feeling.
Next thing is that we're being sent straight to Addenbrookes, arrived at about midnight (?) staying in the coldest room we have EVER been in....otherwise known as an isolation booth....a bloody fridge!! We had a quick tour of the ward (our new home for the next month), and somehow got a bit of sleep...The next few days were a complete blur of endless tests, machines, the first of MANY 'special sleeps' and results. I can honestly say, we have never been so up and down emotionally and it finally took its toll on the friday when i ended up in Addenbrookes A and E, on the brink of collapse.
Lauryn has Acute Lymphoblastic Leukaemia (ALL). Its a form of cancer that affects the lymphocyte producing cells in the bone marrow.
She has been on chemotherapy for 9 months (since 8th July 2008) and has 2 yrs treatment in total. The first year (which ends Summer 2009) is the intensive part and after that we move onto Maintenence where Lauryns hair will grow back and she will, in theory, return to 'normal' and not be in hospital as much. Lol!! We shall see.....!
I am so proud of my little girl, she rarely complains about the situation that has been handed to her and astounds me every single day at how brave she is, being taken away from her normal life to one that involves countless injections, blood tests, transfusions, hair loss, weeks spent sat in a hospital bed, appearance change, aching body, sickness, headaches....that no child should ever have to endure.
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